Crucifying Humanitarian Environmentalism

Humanitarian environmentalists need to fuck off. Either the third world starves to death or you can say goodbye to our dolphin brothers and sisters.

7 billion apex predators cannot live in harmony with this planet (which is already dead). What they can do is persist in a state of malnourished, psychosis-inducing squalor like the one you see outside of your window, on your computer screen, and in your living room.

You may believe these issues can be resolved humanly. You may be one of the 175 million hairless apes with an IQ above 125 and thus capable of abstract thought. But you’re wrong.

You’re an INFP. A christlike martyr/yogi, whiter than the light of Heaven and cleaner than nuked sand – But you are no 140 IQ hairless ape, of which only 10 million remain! [endangered species ALERT!]

Luckily, my IQ is 158.5 – and I have a blog

I. Have You Considered Chopping Your Own Head Off?

“We can reduce the global population slowly, while shifting towards a hand-made world of twine and tofu” FALSE

“An illiterate IQ 85 islander will forgo sexual intercourse once we explain the dangers of overpopulation to him” FALSE

“If every conscientious, future-oriented humanitarian erases themselves from the gene pool, new ones will magically emerge from the herd via humanitarian aid or something, until everyone is nice like me and does transcendental meditation.” FALSE

Eh, you get the point!


I’ve been accused of being a technophile with genocide fantasies! ME? A technophile? Please bitch, take your crazy pills and read this damn blog. Half the fucking posts, including the first one, are about god-foresaken right-wing primitivism. I hate technology. I hate computers. I hate cars. This blog is named after a god-damned bicycle.

I ride bikes with FRICTION SHIFTERS. Other cyclists called me a “retro-grouch” because I refuse to ride on carbon fiber or use disc brakes. I AM NOT A TECHNOPHILE. YOU FUCKERS.

III. Humanist vs. Humanitarian Environmentalism

The real humanists of this day and age are readers of Linkola and the Unabomber. They know that meaningful life exists in the bygone (and I mean bye fuckin’ GONE) era of our ancestral environe. Any deep ecologist worth their weight in deer meat knows that the ecosystem is a dead and fucked corpse at this point. Every single cool giant beast is dead, and the forests SEMI-FUNCTIONAL NORMAL PEOPLE grew up playing, hunting, and hiking in is now INFESTED with ALIEN diseases like LYME, and DEADLY TICK DISEASE A-42912. And they keep making new ones!

The solution HAHA is to HAHA nuke the symbiotic bacteria in our intestines (that are probably dead already) so you can live a health life of never-ending fatigue and depression. But don’t worry too much, MOST Americans have already had their gut flora decimated by antibiotics, processed foods, and triloscan. So you’ll probably feel about the same and marijuana is legal now if you live in a state that matters.

So suck on that egg. Speaking of EGG – to keep these 7 billion half-dead mutant apes alive you’re gonna need EFFICIENCY. You’re gonna need centralization – automated, centralized, genetically-optimized, and heartlessly crool.

It used to be that everyone was a farmer, now almost nobody is, and soon absolutely nobody will be. We will be fed corn and rice and soy. The rich will get Salmon raised in a pool of their own shit and fertilizer run-off. That’s what 7 Billion humans looks like now so get ready for 10 Billion before you die (assuming you’re not a vegetarian in which case I would subtract at least 5 years from your lifespan VS. a based/redpilled paleo deadlifter).

IV. Spirited Away

There’s a good movie called Nausicaa that basically explains all of this. It’s a cartoon and the teenage girl IS wearing pants, they’re just tan-colored. I do not want to have sex with her or any other teenage girl, I like Milfs

V. Appeal to Authority 

Ran Prieur agress with me (citation)

VI. Your posts used to be good

Your memory is faulty

VII. Conclusion

Make money and spend half of your paycheck on the last remaining wild salmon still living our in acidifying oceans (assuming an oil rig hasn’t exploded in the past year, you know they basically just dumped laundry detergent on top that? lmao, There’s no Earth to go back to now).

The only thing that could possibly keep 15 billion people alive is Totalitarian Communism or a complete marketization of our “natural” environment (reminder: already DEAD — it’s already dead).

I’m talkin:

RAIN MARKETS first world seeds fresh clouds, 3rd world gets subprime acid rain

WATER MARKETS already there, baby

WIND MARKETS – sure why not?


POWDERED COCKROACH – far superior to soy, bean, or hemp (lol) protein

AIR MARKETS – literally already have this but we need to add military deterrents here

DRONES ON THE SHORES OF THE GANGES AND THE YELLOW RIVER – lazer murdering 3rd world litter bugs so we can feed their bodies to bugs to make powdered bug meal for bugmen

SELF-TERMINATION MARKETS – Because UBI is expensive and some people put a premium on temporary access to luxury goods — CHEAPER THAN PRISON

FLOATING CITIES – and by floating I mean there’s a god-damn wall around them holding back 1,000,000 tonnes of dead ocean and the water is still rising

KUDZU FORRESTS – because rising CO2 is great for plants but we spent all our money on desalinization so 75% of our earth will be covered in vines that are crawling with ticks carrying deadly dieases

BAG BABIES – because not even right-wing christian alpha males will want to bring a life into this hellscape and somebody has to keep social security going

TECHNOCAPITAL ESCAPE – the startling conclusion: with enough incentive (HELLISH HEAT) humans are forced to automate and really, really, really want to get the fuck off of the trash heap that is Earth

VIIIII. Gaia Returns

With Earth evacuated (hunks of metal with brain matter wired into a few processes), ticks slowly evolve into sentient armored beasts, preyed upon by flying hyper-rats. Blah blah blah, beautiful proto-capital is born again, waiting to play the game all over again, and again



13 thoughts on “Crucifying Humanitarian Environmentalism

  1. at most, I can copy paste this for you “success breeds failure and then failure breeds success: the ones who should starve to death will be the first 2 worlds. the third is gonna rise”


      • Very unlikely, moreover that resentful framing sucks for multiple reasons. (main one being that it implicitly clings to pre-machiavellian virtue as an ideal)

        It’s just that the options are right-accelerationist (endangered species and a primitivism of sorts, just upwing instead of downwing), cybernazi or fake opposition.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. A human separated from the ancestral environment functions exactly as well as a dripping salmon spasming on the hook. Look at the dull panic in its eyes and tell me you can’t empathize.

    Liked by 1 person


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