Accelerate
What the fuck are these fucking Accelerationist assholes even talking about half the time? JESUS-H.-fuckin’-Christ Almighty. You’d think they dumped some macbooks in the looney bin half the time. Some of the words the say ain’t even in the dictionary. Shit. Well, anyway, today I found one that is: Emergent.
Emergent… it means like to come out of something. Except, it’s not like taking a shit, more like making a baby at the trailer park. What I mean by that is ain’t nobody intended to make the damn Thing, but there it is, and it’s got a mind of it’s own!
Usually (at least when I can understand ’em) the acid-victim eggheads are saying “emergent” when they’re talking about mechanisms (social / political / physical / biological / all-of-the-above) that comes outta nowhere — without any intent from no god-fearing Christian soul among us — Yet, there they are! And they all get to seeming like they have some purpose on this old Earth. Usually a purpose that don’t quit smell right… Like it wanna help Capital in some way while hurtin’ us regular folk. Dang. And let me tell you: some of ’em seem so damn mean, you’d think they were hand-crafted by some evil invisible alien or some kinda spawn ‘o Satan. Lordy, help me!
While dum-dums like you and me think about Capitalism like it’s a way to organize the economy, them grad students (“Gods of Acceleration” I call ’em) know otherwise: What you see as Capitalism is part of an emergent force OR intelligence OR life-form OR cosmic horror from beyond.
Not only that, it started a long long ago — (If you reckon these Accelerationist even believe in Time (shit, I don’t have the time to that 1(one))) — Yo, Listen right here:
- from physics emerges time/space/whatnot. Atoms too.
- from SpaceTimes emerges Biology.
- from Biology emerges Intelligence.
- from Intelligence CAPITAL.
Competiting theories
- Or wait…… Physics might BE intelligence.
- Or intelligence IS physical in nature. Oh fuck.
- Necrophysics (don’t even google it, Satan lives here).
So guess what, I’m all fucking mixed up. Basically though, this shit is all written is into the stars by God himself. geometry – love – cave diagrams – weird pictures of shit. Everything points to this: Something bad is coming.
What do you do when confronted with something like that? I dunno. I tried asking Nick Land, Edmund B. Berger, Vincent Garton, and Amy Ireland about it. What I got was some crazy diagram written in fuckin’ gibberish, a poem written on 3-D printed rock, and a link to TheDailyMail about Moslems on welfare or some shit.
All I know is these U/ACCs say just to chill out on the couch and “let it go”, so most of us true Americans have got this thing covered. That’s a relief for me. I don’t know about Africa and South America though, from what I can tell they aren’t really chilling much down there. But this emergent shit seems like it’s just gonna fix that problem itself. No skin off my back.
Punk Rock
Punk rock eats people alive. But mostly bad ones. You might like it.
Punk is so effective at doing this, you have to wonder if it hasn’t been actively maintained by the CIA for the past forty years. Maybe. Or Capital likes it. I definitely do (like it (punk rock))/
Punk rock is a good example of an emergent system for neutralizing people that would otherwise make themselves a threat to the system at large.
How many punks does it take to change a lightbulb?
None: punks can’t change anything.
– Old punk joke
When not neutralizing their bodies with alcohol or veganism, they’re wasting time in anarchist meetings full of Feds. At their most effective, they’re pulling off highly ineffective Black Bloc protests, shoplifting from Whole Foods, and maybe some stencil graffiti. Cool.
These people don’t cost the system much. They work marginal jobs, often refusing welfare benefits or medical treatments, which is uh.. punk apparently. What other things are punk?
“I just ate out of a dumpster.” That’s punk.
“I just spent 30 hours giving myself a tattoo with a pen.” That’s punk.
“I haven’t showered in three weeks.” That’s punk.
“I got a nasty cut, so I stitched it up with dental floss.” That’s punk.
I’m skipping making a joke about the alcoholism, OD’s, sexual assaults, and deaths by violence. Because it’s actually sad as hell. This is what I’m talking about: Capital has a way to root-around those who do not serve it, and the result is ghastly. I have been personally affected by some of those things, and countless others who have been.
A modern fascist couldn’t get away with doing this to their own people. But here in the punk scene, they do it for free.
Whatever genes are leading people to the punk community are actively being shredded. They’re not something Capital needs. Real Punks don’t always make it out alive from serious Punk-Rocking (I say that because 90% of people at a punk show aren’t DEEP IN enough to be called Punks (myself included)). The Real Punks usually don’t want kids because “I’m too fucked up, man” or “I can’t bring kids into this world.” Both are true once you realize the person speaking to you marked: Their genes would function well in the woods. ADHD, paranoia, and restlessness works when you’re hunting a Mammoth — but not so much when you’re getting your Yearly Review at the office.
Let’s shoehorn a street-level behavioral genetics lesson on Collectivism here too. (Why not? If you’ve read this far you deserve this) FACT: If you are genetically incapable of succeeding in a competitive environment – You = Incompatible With Capitalism – your only hope is to change the system.
If this was a small tribe, it might be possible. A few meat-heads taking all your women and beating you up? Gather your monkey friends from the fringes and bash him with some rocks until he’s dead. Good shit. It would work if there were 70 people in your known universe. But today we’ve got 7 Billion and the meat-heads have meat-heads with meat-heads all the way down to You. And if you hurt one above you, you’re going to jail with the other savages.
An ancestral strategy for genetically impaired: Unite and overthrow the healthy people. Give yourself the power to mix-it-up with the good mates and save whatever salvagable material you might have on you with a few lucky sperm+egg combinations. Better than the no gf life of dying alone in the jungle.
It might also explain phenotypic and genetic differences that are detected across political lines. Why does testosterone make you racist, or right wing? Because your ancestors were strong and healthy. Why are you a crust punk? Because you’re literally broken on a genetic level.
Fedora man steps in: “Christianity was a meta-organism for Beta survival. Every male gets 1 woman, or God will be mad. Listen to God. Unless you’re very rich, in which case you get 2 mistresses per decade.”
Punks as a Byproduct of Capitalism
Capitalism has lead to incredible strides in productivity, efficiency, and living standards. It’s also accidentally added several billion people who would have otherwise been eaten by mountain lions. These people need to be worked-around. Up the punx!
