Everything is fucked. The Big animals are all dead – most of the small ones too. 7 billion humans who shouldn’t be are limping along on diets of mutant-dwarf grain crops, fertilized with fossil fuel and bathed in pesticides, leaving us physically crippled and mentally depressed. Every increase in efficiency leads to increases in quantity – rather than quality – of human life. The Jetsons future is now retro-kitsch, and the water is literally rising.
A growing number of humans are living in material abundance, which is leaving them diseased and insane. One in six require psychiatric drugs to function. Cancer, a disease uncommon 200 years ago, is now infecting 38.5% of us. One out of 100 will die in a violent car accident. We are dying alone and childless in record numbers. Modern life increasingly resembles a Bukowski novel, only worse.
It comes down to a value judgement: There are no chimpanzees suffering from serotonin resistance in the treetops of Zanzibar. So let’s end this charade and return to The Shire.
“But !” says Woke Strawman (pref pronoun: Zer/zan). “You are romanticizing primitive life. Those monkeys are missing out on the joys of industrial food products, EDM, NPR, SSRIS, HD pornography, electric light, chemotherapy, international flight!!!! Ethnic restaurants!!! SKYPE CALLS!!”
A beautiful socialist art student chimes in: “No, you idiots. It’s capitalism.”
And she’s not wrong…
Primitivist Praxis: An idiot clusterfuck
Many primitivists start as anti-capitalists. After noticing the Quixotic nature of defeating capitalism, they dig deeper and go full Khoisanic: It’s not just capitalism, it’s:
- Our diets (hi, paleo)
- Da schools (hi, homeschool ethno-nationalism)
- Muh disconnect from nature
- Consumerism
- Wait —- no. it’s Civilization itself. Let’s be like the Bushmen, but with more pine trees, and let me keep the crust punk LP collection for a little bit longer…
Yes. The solution, obviously, is to forgo money, move out into the woods, and fail really fucking hard because there’s no megafauna around anymore and lyme disease exists, so basically, you’re an idiot.
The Literal Appleseed of Capitaldeath
Adam and Eve were cast out of The Garden because they started farming. There’s a gorilla who explains this very clearly in the book Ishmael. Primitivists know this to be true: The Biblical apple from the tree of knowledge was literally an apple on a tree. Some monkey-man figured out how to plant things. Agriculture. It fucking ruined everything!
And who gave Eve that apple (traded her for a rib or something?). A snaek. The Snake. The devious evil thing… Oroboros, but with a hydra-head geno-mod. It loops around…. feeding on itself…. new heads emerging at exponential rates…
Let’s dive into it: The fucking seed was Capital. The seed grew. Something emerged. Some dreadful force.
It was not a new “system.” This is where the Primitivists get it wrong. It was the emergence of a new form of Life — one riding on the stooped back of the hideous upright monkeys: A alien life form. A facehugger attached at the Root Chakra. The xeno-biological organism Capital was born, and it led humankind (gleeful, drunk, with a full belly) out of Eden.
The Primitivist praxis: Back-to-nature. Rewilding. Wildism. Monkey-wrenching (lol). All of this is shit. The root of our pain is ourselves. We are long domesticated BY Capital. This cannot be turned back. Your eyesight is too poor. Your muscles too weak. Neanderthal man could have done it, but you and Capital came around to kill and absorb him.
The Xeno needs to be given full control if you want this to end. You will never stop it with your cobwood hut, only delay its maturation. Removing yourself from the feedback loop only frees up space that is immediately filled. If that worked, we’d all be bushmen by now.
There is, however, a way that Capital might be stopped: failure to launch… failure to escape this planet (if it can even be prevented at this point). But it won’t be through your own efforts. This will be explored in a future post… Post-Primivist Praxtition: Liberation thru Dysgenics and Megafailure